In our household, you have to take off your shoes before entering into the main portion of our home. Why? Simple – we don’t want shoes dragging dirt into our home. Much the same way, I think there needs to be a new unspoken rule for owners of iPhones. People need to wash their hands thoroughly before they’re allowed to touch your iPhone.

This might sound funny to those of you without an iPhone but I swear to you – I kid you not! This is a serious topic folks – one of highest national urgency. Consider – you lend an iPhone to a friend who’s got some dirty hands. The dirt and grime make it to the phone’s surface which then makes it back to your possession. Then you put the phone next to your ear to make a call and guess what? NOW YOU HAVE the same dirt and germs on your ear too (not to mention your fingers).

I started thinking about this problem after several people picked up and used my iPhone today. You can’t help but want to show it around of course – it’s an excellent conversation starter so why not? But damn – make sure that person has some clean hands. If they’re going to use the phone to make a phone call, bring along some Q-tips man! Since Apple failed to design a screen which would be fingerprint and smudge proof, it’s imperative that we take action into our own hands.

But is that really it? Is it just the dirt and oily skin? No. Folks.. Let us not forget about the B.O. factor. Oily skins.. means B.O. will travel far easier onto other surfaces such as the iPhone screen. Who wants to pick up their iPhone and smell someone else’s nasty B.O.? So, insist on water AND soap because water alone will simply not do.

I predict a new business too - an iPhone cleaning service. Send us your iPhone and we’ll return it to you all nice and clean – that is until you press the screen with your finger.

The iPhone’s a beautiful device from afar. It’s a shame that by simply picking the phone up, the phone is no longer pristine looking – all thanks to fingerprints, smudges and oily skin.

Apple – might I suggest you look at the Zune display?

OK. My ridiculous ranting is now over.

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